Chunkle of the week - Herpies edition

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JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJAAADEEFACKINKJAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VATIS UP RUGKY FOR HOMOS I CHUST CET PACK FROM SOME PUTT PANKINK MIT CRACE CHONES! CHUST LIKE OLD TIMES!

Woman’s Voice: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnniiiieeeee

JAAAAA MARIA SHRIFER I NO HERE!!!

Maria Shriver: Oh shush Arniekins I know you’re in there. Open the door already! Your smell of Austrian Schnitzel combined with a desperate lust for power is unmistakable.

JAAAAAA OK OK OK (fackinkshprotzen shitenzee assenheizen)

Maria Shriver: Are you cursing at me in fake Austrian again?

NO NO NAZINK NAZINK (opens door)

CHEW LOOKINK LOFELY AS ALFAYS HONEY!

Maria Shriver: What is that on your face?

VAT CHEW TALKINK APOUT VILLIS?

Maria Shriver: I think you know DAMN WELL what I’m talking about!!

VAT DAT?

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(realization)

AAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAT STUPIT CRACE CHONES I TELL HER TO STAY AVAY FROM ME VHEN CHE HAFE COLT SORE… COUGH COUGH JA I MEAN I HATE VHEN ZEE KITS DISOPEY US!

Maria Shriver: Whatever, Arnold. We’re in Hollywood – just remember that you are not to kiss me when we make love. I do not kiss anybody. EVER. Except for my old poster of Walter Cronkite.

JAHAHAHA VALTER CRONKIKE!

Maria Shriver: Oh Arnie, you’re always so clever with your racism. Come here, I wore your favorite lingerie!

HO POY HO POY!!! A PANTS SUIT!!! TRUE SEX OUTFIT OF REPUPLICANS!!! JAJAJAJAJAJAJA CHEW SURE KNOW HOW TO TURN ON AN IMMICRANT DAT PECAME FAMOUS IN ZE 70’s!

Maria Shriver: Come here big boy

(Arnold winces in pain from Maria’s chin producing yet another close encounter of the John Wayne Bobbit kind)

AAUUUGGGHHH

Maria Shriver: ooooooooooo

AUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

Maria Shriver: OOOOOOOOHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Maria Shriver (shrieks): AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS TED KENNEDY's JOWLS WHAT IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????

OH JA DAT GHOST OF MAKO.

Maria Shriver: Making what? Sushi? *teehee*

HO BOY DIS VOMAN VORSE MIT ONE LINERS DEN SILFERMAN.

JA MAKO VAS IN CONAN MOFIES MIT ME. HE PLAY VIZART. HE HEAL ME VHEN CHAMES EARL CHONES HANK ME FROM TREE OF WOOL. HE COOT KOST.

Maria Shriver: What is he doing in our closet? What is he doing trying to double penetrate my anus?

JA MAKO TIET A FEW YEARS ACO. I MISS HIM. UNT IN LAST VEEK’s CHUNKLE I TELL EVERYPOTY APOUT ZE SEESAW STORY MIT POMPAATA UNT OLIFIA T'APO. I TELL EFERYONE DIRTY CHEW PROTUCER ROPERT EFANS PONE CRACE CHONES PUTTOX. PUT DAT LIE. MAKO DO EET. I NO VANT TO SULLY (I let him co) HIS NAME. HE TALENTED LITTLE ASIAN - HE SUCK EEL SUSHI FROM HER FACHINA. *sheds small tear*

Maria Shriver: Arnold, I respect your love for your deceased friend. However, his ghost is simply not allowed to penetrate my anus. But because he had enough respect for me to not kiss me on the lips I will forgive him. YOU, on the other hand owe me something.

I TONT TOSS YOUR SALAT. NOT MIT YOUR NEW CARROT CHUICE TIET!

Maria Shriver: No, I want to do this week’s Jungle.

DATS CHUNKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria Shriver: Sorry, Chunkle.

JAAAA FINE FINE (facking cuntingzehozen whorenshpaten)

Maria Shriver: Oh shush honey. MMMMMMC

CCCHHH!!! ACHCHHHCCCCCHHHHHH! AHEM!!! AHEM!!!

CHESUS CLEARINK YOUR SROAT SOUNT LIKE ELEPHANT SEX.

Maria Shriver: Hello everyone this is Maria Shriver reporting to you with this week's Jungle...

JA DATS CHUNKLE CHINNY CHINNY PANK PANK!

...err I mean CHUNKLE...of the week! This week's competition was both riveting and enthralling. However with a Kennedian effort, as it pertains to chunkles, this week's protagonist has proven that cellulite, while provocative, can also be an emotional and perplexing undertaking. In honor of Mako Iwamatsu - dear friend, thespian, scholar, anal intruder – this week’s Chunkle hails from Tokyo, Japan. Let's take a closer look...

Maria Shriver: Kelly Shibari is a lovely Japanese model…she’s had to overcome many hard…

AAAUUUGGGHHHH SHUT UP SHUT UP ALREATY, YOU RUININK CHUNKLE!!!!!!!! CHEW KNOW HOW HART IT IS FOR CHAYSON TO PE FUNNY IN MARIA SHRIFER???

Maria Shriver: Fuck you. Enjoy your little suffocating samurai on your own then

JA!!! AS CHEW CAN SEE, KELLY FAT. SHE HAS PIG CHUNKLE. IS HART FOR KELLY TO SHAFE HER POX...PECAUSE SHE FAT. VEN YOU SKINNY ZE CELLULITE TOESNT CET IN ZE VAY. MARIA SHRIFER HAS NO PROPLEM SHAFINK POX SINCE SHE NO FAT. ISN’T DAT RIGHT MARIA SHRIFER?

JA DATS VAT I THOUGHT!

DAT ALL FOR NOW, UNT VHEN CHEW TRINKING ZIS VEEKENT MAKE SURE TO HAFE A SHOT IN ZE HONOR OF MAKO! CREATEST CHAPANESE ACTOR UNT SPHINCTER SHPATEN ZE VORLD EFER SEEN!

-Arnolt